This is not an easy option. Other people will not understand your devotion to God.But it is worthwhile and the only thing that will count in the end. I want to encourage you to live your life in the light of knowing God. He is the only one worth pleasing. You will not be living to please yourself as so many do in these days. You will be daily reminding yourself of how glorious God is and that he is the only one worth living for. In 2 Peter chapter 3 we read about people who will scoff at us for our way of life and beliefs. Peter says in verse 11 "You ought to live godly and holy lives as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming." People who live as they please will reap a harvest of destruction. Those who please God will gain eternal life. This life comes from Jesus and accepting salvation in him. Without his help you cannot live a godly life. With him you can.
When we lose a loved one it is natural to wonder how they are faring in the next life. I would warn against going to a medium to find out. At worst these people are charlatans after your money, the rest misguided or worse. We are told in the Bible not to try to reach the dead. The best person to call on in this situation is Jesus. That's right, go to the top. He is always available through prayer and doesn't make a charge. All he requires is that you look for him with all your heart. He has the answers to all of life's difficult questions.
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