Never let suicide be an option for you. You are unique, we need you. We need your talents, we need your smile. Nobody else can fill the place you fill in the lives of others. You will have thoughts of suicide, just talk yourself out of it. I don't think I have every been truly suicidal, although I do remember once thinking that as my 3-year-old was safe in Pre-school and I was alone at home, that it would be a good time to eat some yew berries and end it all. Fortunately the thought passed. there are tremendous pluses in your life;hold on to them. Yes, they are clouded by depressio,n but they are still there like the sunshine behind the cloud. There is no way back from suicide and how do you know what is beyond? As a christian I believe there is heaven and hell beyond death; are you sure where you are headed?
Maybe you think there is oblivion and that would be good, but you cannot be sure. In life there is always the possibility of something wonderful just around the corner. You deserve to make that discovery. Life is precious, hang on to it.
First of all thanks to Fat Prophet for your interest. I see from your blog you are having trouble commenting. To get back to my assessed service. Criticism albeit constructive is harder for some to take than others. I felt a little crushed after my assessed service but then remembered I had recorded it on my dictaphone. I listened to it all through and although my assessors were quite right about me speaking a little quickly and rushing from item to item, I was actually very pleased with the content of my sermon and how I presented it. So I have decided to take heart. I highly recommend other trainees to record your services. You can hear your good points and your bad and there is no argument about it, it is all caught on the recorder.
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