Skip to main content

How do you help someone ?

Helping another person seems like a good thing to do, but some helping does more harm than good. If you are forever doing something for a friend and never letting them get to grips with it themselves you are making them dependent on you. That might give you a pleasant feeling, but it is really not helping at all.These folk who ask for our help may enjoy being a victim and some of us are wired up to play the game.

If your friend/husband/daughter,asks for your help and you think they are perfectly capable of coping with the task in question, encourage them to do it themselves. Why should you be burdened down with the world's problems.
Sometimes the victim is playing a game. They ask for your help in a helpless kind of way and then turn on you, becoming the perecutor and making you the victim. Over the years I have learnt to break out of this triangle and say "no" when my help is not really needed. I had twenty years sortiing out how to say "no" to an aged aunt who thought of me as being on tap for her every whim to take her out in the car.

Don't be a doormat. I have written a little bit more about this on my friends page below.

Making Friends and Keeping Them
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How do you cope with depression?

There are two main types of depression, reactive, which is a reaction to your circumstances and endogenous, which is a part of your makeup and not entirely affected by your circumstances. I get the second type. When I am depressed I like to sleep a lot, this is probably not a good thing as depression can lift if you do not have extra sleep. It is all very well knowing that , but acting upon it is another thing. Exercise is also beneficial. Some sorts of depression can be lifted by taking these measures, but some people need medication. You need to get to know your doctor and develope a relationship with him/her where you feel you can trust their judgement. Do look for help as there are lots of possibilities out there. It is not good to spend long stretches of time on your own. Talking with other people will often help lift your spirits, especially if they are people who have gone through this experience themselves. Maybe you need to join a self help group. Avoid people who tell...
Post a Comment
Read more

Section A

I've posted off my work for section A. Now to get on with B. Onward and upward as they say. It does feel good to have completed A, progress is being made.I think my tutor is more nervous than I as to the outcome, but then I am his first student. We are learning from each other.But then that should always be the case. It's an adventure we go on together.The course seems to be suiting me alright but I feel there are a lot of potentially excellent local preachers out there who are put off by the study. Something should be devised to include these good people, we can ill afford to do without them, especially as the numbers of ministers is dropping. What did Wesley do? You don't need a degree, or even A levels to preach. You need a call, and a close relationship with God.
6 comments
Read more

Life after death

When we lose a loved one it is natural to wonder how they are faring in the next life. I would warn against going to a medium to find out. At worst these people are charlatans after your money, the rest misguided or worse. We are told in the Bible not to try to reach the dead. The best person to call on in this situation is Jesus. That's right, go to the top. He is always available through prayer and doesn't make a charge. All he requires is that you look for him with all your heart. He has the answers to all of life's difficult questions.
6 comments
Read more