Helping another person seems like a good thing to do, but some helping does more harm than good. If you are forever doing something for a friend and never letting them get to grips with it themselves you are making them dependent on you. That might give you a pleasant feeling, but it is really not helping at all.These folk who ask for our help may enjoy being a victim and some of us are wired up to play the game.
If your friend/husband/daughter,asks for your help and you think they are perfectly capable of coping with the task in question, encourage them to do it themselves. Why should you be burdened down with the world's problems.
Sometimes the victim is playing a game. They ask for your help in a helpless kind of way and then turn on you, becoming the perecutor and making you the victim. Over the years I have learnt to break out of this triangle and say "no" when my help is not really needed. I had twenty years sortiing out how to say "no" to an aged aunt who thought of me as being on tap for her every whim to take her out in the car.
Don't be a doormat. I have written a little bit more about this on my friends page below.
Making Friends and Keeping Them
If your friend/husband/daughter,asks for your help and you think they are perfectly capable of coping with the task in question, encourage them to do it themselves. Why should you be burdened down with the world's problems.
Sometimes the victim is playing a game. They ask for your help in a helpless kind of way and then turn on you, becoming the perecutor and making you the victim. Over the years I have learnt to break out of this triangle and say "no" when my help is not really needed. I had twenty years sortiing out how to say "no" to an aged aunt who thought of me as being on tap for her every whim to take her out in the car.
Don't be a doormat. I have written a little bit more about this on my friends page below.
Making Friends and Keeping Them
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