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What is important when officiating at a funeral?

This is a very important position.  First the undertaker asks if I am available on a certain date. Then he gives me the phone number of those arranging the funeral, usually a close relative.  I ring and make an appointment to see them in their home.  I take along suitable scripture readings and poems and discuss what they want me to do. This is a time of careful listening and it is here that you get to know all that the deceased means to the mourner. Either they will have written a eulogy or you take away the information and write a eulogy for them. This is the time to get the right names of both the deceased and the mourners.  If the deceased was called Elizabeth but her whole life was called Lizzie, you want to take this on board and use the preferred name.  There is nothing worse than being at a funeral and hearing the deceased called Robert when the whole of his life he has been known as Bob; yet many ministers do not take the trouble to find this out.

 For me the wishes of the mourners are paramount.  This is their final goodbye to someone they love very much.  Everything must go smoothly. Afterwards there is usually a buffet in a nearby hotel.  I go to this if I can.  These are usually happy family affairs though tinged with sadness.  I leave after about an hour.  Although you have played an important part in the days proceedings you are , after all a stranger, so don't out stay your welcome.

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