You should do all you can to influence your children to walk in the ways of the Lord, but they have to have a meeting with him themselves. King Josiah was a king who had a wicked father and yet he followed the Lord all his life and cleared the temple of all the idols his predecessors had set up there. Again his influence did not mean that his sons followed in the ways of God. They did not but were evil. I have a friend who says that God has no grand children. He means that we cannot rely on the belief of our parents but must each come to God ourselves and have a one-to-one relationship with him.
When we lose a loved one it is natural to wonder how they are faring in the next life. I would warn against going to a medium to find out. At worst these people are charlatans after your money, the rest misguided or worse. We are told in the Bible not to try to reach the dead. The best person to call on in this situation is Jesus. That's right, go to the top. He is always available through prayer and doesn't make a charge. All he requires is that you look for him with all your heart. He has the answers to all of life's difficult questions.
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