Jesus said to His disciples, "You have not chosen me ,but I have chosen you." Why do Christians rebel against this statement. If Jesus has done the choosing there is great assurance in that, because He will never change His mind and we are safe in Him. If we have done the choosing we have cause to worry because we are fallible and fickle and might change our minds. Look at Ephesians chapter 1 for more about God choosing His people. Be safe relying on Jesus. Adam and Eve had free will, and look what they did with it. Abandon your free will and trust in Jesus.
When we lose a loved one it is natural to wonder how they are faring in the next life. I would warn against going to a medium to find out. At worst these people are charlatans after your money, the rest misguided or worse. We are told in the Bible not to try to reach the dead. The best person to call on in this situation is Jesus. That's right, go to the top. He is always available through prayer and doesn't make a charge. All he requires is that you look for him with all your heart. He has the answers to all of life's difficult questions.
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